Late-Night Personalities Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme
Late-night's leading hosts devoted the evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the wealthy.
The Late Show's Witty Take
Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas jingle directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins all he handles."
The subject was the new initiative that allows foreign citizens to acquire U.S. residence for the price of $1 million dollars, or "premium" option for five million. A government page promises processing "faster than ever."
"A quick message for you to rich immigrants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.
He explained that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, involving hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.
"The best background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."
"That's important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique
On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."
"This is a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."
"Maybe it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.
Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."
"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers covering Grocery Issues
Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval ratings during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.
This week, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, and reacted strangely to some cereal.
"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."
"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"
Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.
